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Yeah, I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

A lot has been going on lately, at least it seems that way to me. The past three months have been really busy and I've hardly had any time to myself where I wasn't completely drained.

Though I'm happy to say that I'm getting closer to my goals of becoming a costume and makeup designer. I'm taking Costume Design ( which is basically advanced costuming) and I got to be Assistant Costume Designer on the school's mainstage, Talking With.

So far it's been interesting. It started rather awkwardly, as I kind of just felt like I was in the way the whole time, and then Dark Harbor started and I began to lose hold of my responsibilities. I feel really bad about it, and I'm being extra attentive this month to make up for it.

And then of course, my costume for PMX isn't done yet. I didn't start it till yesterday, and now I only have till Thursday to complete it. *cries* I don't know if I'll make it, but I'll try my damnedest.

Today was election day, and since I voted by mail, I'm thankful for the lack of pressure. I would have forgotten which propositions I wanted to support otherwise. I hope Romney gets creamed. I hate him so much.

This morning was pretty awkward as well, because the toilet overflowed and made a huge mess, and I'm not quite sure it was my fault.

My inner pessimist is going rampant at the moment, though last night I was elated and felt useful for once. I guess I shouldn't visit old friends' blogs.

I don't really know what it means to be alive anymore. Even though my life isn't repetitive, I feel like it is anyway. This plane of reality is all to real and boring for me. Stress is not my best color.

I also keep getting overwhelmed by people around me. Sometimes they're amazing, and sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who will ever care about my feelings. And at the same time, I feel selfish for trying to protect myself all the time. If I just allowed myself to be taken advantage of, I might have some energy to focus on someone else's feelings. Even though I'm the one being hurt by their actions. Thinking about it makes my head spin.

I'll get over it eventually, I guess.


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January 2014


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